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I decided to keep our appointment. All my friends are married with .

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The first thing Bayard advised me to do was take inventory of people I know and who they know.

Who are the people you sometimes see at the same parties and share mutual friends, but never have one-on-one conversations? But before I did, I asked Bayard for advice on what to say.

Bayard was patient and listened to me vent. Start there.

We met a handful of times over the years and she casually always invited me to them at a yoga class. I felt ready to hear what Bayard had in store for me and was happy to know that there were only three challenges she wanted me to tackle over the next month to help me make friends. I did exactly what Bayard advised and messaged her on Instagram.

Most people, I thought, make friends without a strategy or game plan. She advised me to send that person a message on Instagram asking them to get coffee. I decided to keep our appointment.

All my friends are married with. I told her I almost canceled our session out of pure shame.

Those with social anxiety struggle because they are in their head and second guess themselves. I wrote each challenge down and devoted at least one week to following through on them.